I’m in the middle of writing quite a few serious (I mean, as serious as my writing can be) pieces, so I need to do some lighter ranting to take my mind off it. Also, I’m procrastinating.
This list is the top 100 ships on Archive Of Our Own (a fanfiction site, in case you’re living under a rock) for 2019, and I’ll be reacting to them and adding my opinions. In ascending order (100-1) so I can react to some of the weirder ones before I do the typical ships you’d expect to be at the top. This isn’t my personal ranking, otherwise Sheith, Thorki, Bakudeku and Reylo would be much lower. Anyway, let’s get into it.
100. America/England, Hetalia
People are still into Hetalia? In 2019? You guys know new things have been made since like 2012 right
Honestly, I never got the appeal of this show. It’s just… they’re countries? Who are people? I guess it passed me by and was dismissed by everyone by the time I got online. Maybe if I was here in 2012 instead of just using the internet to play Animal Jam I’d have gotten into it a bit more.
99. Inquisitor/Solas, Dragon Age
I have never heard of this, so I googled it and apparently it’s a video game. You guys are writing fanfic about video games? Well fuck this list, I’m off to publish my Sims and Minecraft fanfics that have been sitting in my Google Drive for millennia.
98. Poe Dameron/Finn, Star Wars
Disappointing that Finnpoe is so low down on this list compared to other Star Wars ships that are really not as good (cough cough Reylo and Kylux cough cough) but at least they made it onto the list. My dreams of a Finnpoe endgame are slowly slipping away as TROS gets closer, and I’ve realised that Disney Hates Gays and don’t have the balls to put an actual gay couple on screen for fear of making China and Russia mad at them. At least there might still be hope for Finnrey.
97. Mary Morstan/John Watson, Sherlock
People actually ship this? People actually ship the forced het pairings? People actually write fanfic about the forced het pairings? Wow. Much to think about
96. Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Emmerdale
People actually ship pairings from soap operas? And write fanfic about them? People actually watch soap operas? Wow. Much to think about
In all seriousness, though, how many of the people writing these fics aren’t British? I’d really love to know
95. Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi, BTS
The first BTS ship of many, and the first ship between real people who aren’t actually romantically involved of many. Sigh. But what else would I expect from the internet?
94. Brian Kinney/Justin Taylor, Queer As Folk
I googled the show and this couple is actually canon, which is good! I’m always ready to support canon LGBT couples. God knows we don’t have enough.
93. Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, Game Of Thrones
I know nothing about Game of Thrones other than dragon lady hot and final season bad, so you’ll have to bear with me. Having said that, aren’t these the two that are related in canon? I know there’s one pairing that this happened to. If they are, then… that’s not great.
92. Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz, Fall Out Boy
Apparently Fall Out Boy collabed with Macklemore recently. As in, this year. You guys doing okay? I mean, you really must not be doing okay if you still stan the emo trinity in 2019. Listen to Abba instead.
I’m going to get so many angry comments on this post if it ever blows up, and I’m going to be so happy about it.
91. Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, Overwatch
I know nothing about Overwatch outside the “Maybe I’ll be Tracer” song from TikTok, so, no comment.
90. Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Hamilton
Of all the fandoms I’m glad I was never into, I think Hamilton is the one I’m most glad about never liking. Otherwise I’d probably be one of the 5889 people writing fic about racist slave owners who’ve been dead for three hundred years. I mean, I like history, but not that much.
Seriously, though. When you guys were writing your fics headcanoning them all as gay and trans, drawing your fanart of them with Hatsune Miku binder designs or whatever the fuck (a real post I’ve seen multiple times, so I know it wasn’t a fever dream or a hallucination) did you not realise that most of the Founding Fathers owned slaves? I don’t think Hamilton did (think, not know, because we never learnt this at school in the UK, we did the Battle of Hastings instead) but a very large proportion of the others did.
89. Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark, MCU
I know this was tagged as MCU, but it’s gotta be from the comics, right? Because I don’t think these two have ever had a single positive interaction in any of the movies. There’s really no romantic chemistry between them. Unless they could work on their relationship there’s no way they’d actually get together — brainwashed or not, Bucky did kill Tony’s parents.
Maybe if Tony hadn’t FUCKING DIED, they could’ve improved their relationship, since I would’ve liked to have seen some positive interactions between them as I do stan both of them. Sadly, that wasn’t to be. I’ll forever be mad at the Russos for that, and a million other things.
88. Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, Smallville
Yet another hero/villain ship. Next.
87. Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Attack On Titan
I have no idea who these people are because I haven’t seen AoT and don’t plan to because it was made by a Nazi, so, again, no comment.
86. Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Naruto
This isn’t the last time you’ll see this reaction picture in this post, let me tell you. Sasunaru totally deserves to be higher, in my opinion, but the fact that they’re on the list at all is still great. It’s what they deserve for (practically) inventing love.
85. Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf
I don’t know anything about Teen Wolf, but even just googling the cast list shows the massive age difference between the characters. This is pedophilia. No thanks.
84. Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Marvel Comics
I put comics in the title, because I’m trusting you guys to behave and only ship comics Spideypool where Peter is an adult, which is a valid ship. If I see anyone shipping MCU Peter (a teenager in high school) with Deadpool (an adult) I’m throwing hands. But for now I’ll give you all the benefit of the doubt, even though I know it’s probably not the case. Sigh.
83. Bucky Barnes/Reader, MCU
People are still writing and reading X readers? On AO3? In 2019? I thought we left those in the dark ages of Wattpad. I’m not surprised, though, that Bucky is one of the most popular characters for X readers, since he is one of the most popular characters despite having about five lines in the movies. When I used to read Marvel fanfic on Wattpad Bucky and Loki were always the most popular characters. Why those types? What’s the appeal in that?
But, then again, of all the varied and differing personalities of the characters in My Hero Academia I picked Bakugou to stan, so I can’t really talk.
82. Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.
I never watched AoS so I can’t comment, but I haven’t seen anything really bad about it, so that’s something. One of those M/F ships that is (I think) canon and one you wouldn’t expect to be so popular.
81. James Bond/Q, James Bond (Craig Movies)
Y’all are out here shipping people in James Bond? Damn, British culture has way more of a reach than I thought. I don’t remember the last time I watched a James Bond movie but I don’t think there was any real romance in the ones I’ve watched, especially not the kind you’d write fic about. Bait, one of my favourite podcasts that talks about queerbaiting, did an episode on this ship, so that’s something.
80. Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Yuri On Ice
People ship the side characters in Yuri On Ice? I thought it was just Victuuri that was popular. The more you know, I guess? Or, it could be just a side pairing that was in enough Victuuri fics that it made it onto the list.
I guess I just don’t remember any of the side characters other than Yuri Plisetsky because he’s feral and sort of reminds me of Bakugou. Can you guess which show I’m watching right now?
79. Arthur/Eames, Inception
Inception is the kind of movie I’d expect more people to talk about Letterboxd than AO3, but I guess people really will find gay ships in any media. I mean, people ship the characters in Lord of the Flies, for fuck’s sake (the most popular pairing is Jack and Ralph and most of the tag is full of smut. Yeah, I looked.) It’s in my watchlist, so when I watch it I’ll keep an eye out for the white gays.
78. Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph, Twenty One Pilots
This is giving me war flashbacks to Year 7 when I said Twenty One Pilots was my favourite band because I liked Stressed Out. That was a dark time.
77. Jim Ellison/Blair Sandburg, The Sentinel
Another show I had to google because I’m apparently really out of touch. Or not, because it’s something weird from the 90s. Please watch Killing Eve and Fleabag.
76. Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Supernatural
This is the not romantic version, so hopefully that means that by 2019 we’ve all stopped shipping incest between brothers who are literally blood related. That, or my faith in humanity is misplaced and the romantic version is just higher up the list than I thought. We’ll have to see.
75. James Kirk/Leonard McCoy, Star Trek (Movies)
Movies or original series, I’ve read too much Spirk fanfic where Bones is the supportive friend who puts up with Jim’s bullshit/escalating feelings for Spock to get behind this. Spirk is better anyway.
74. Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Teen Wolf
I’ve never watched this show & I don’t plan to, so I can’t comment. They seem like just an ordinary straight couple, I guess?
73. Kim Taehyung/Park Jimin, BTS
More BTS. Can’t y’all get some taste and stan Loona instead?
72. Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter
Not gonna lie, all the endgame het ships JKR wrote were pretty bland and boring. I have no idea why 11 year old me was so obsessed with them. Luna and Ginny would’ve made a way better couple.
71. Jeon Jungkook/Min Yoongi, BTS
Seriously, do you guys just have no idea that band members have boundaries and don’t want to be shipped with people they aren’t romantically involved with? They’re people too!
70. Dean Winchester/Reader, Supernatural
Bucky I can understand, but Dean Winchester? He’s like, 40. I know I’m a lesbian, but I’m not blind. I can tell when men just aren’t attractive.
Since I’ve never actually read a X reader (I always found them kind of cringey and they never wrote X reader stories about women), I have to ask — do they really do that “y/n” thing with a straight face? I don’t think you could pay me to write that in a story unless I was taking the piss. It’s just become synonymous with those really bad imagines.
69. Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter
One of the major Harry Potter ships I could never get behind, mainly because I always hated Draco Malfoy. I guess I’ve always had some taste, then, because I’ve always hated that type of whiny, emo, angsty, kind-of-a-villain-but-not-quite white boy. All these characters have just been knock-off versions of Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender.
And yes, Keith from Voltron counts in this category. I never liked him, but not for any real reason. (I’m anticipating a lot of “Shut the fuck up, Bakugou stan” comments on this post, if I ever get the balls to publish it.)
68. Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, The X Files
I should really have watched The X Files by now. Can this list stop reminding me of shows I’ve been procrastinating on watching?
67. Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Dragon Age
Who knew this one game was so popular? I’d never heard of it before seeing this list. Is this just me? Is this game some massive cultural phenomena that just passed me by while I was still playing Animal Jam?
66. Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Haikyuu
Another show that I’ve been meaning to watch because everyone said it was good/gay. I always find the plots of sports animes boring, but they’re always the gayest. I guess the universe just hates me.
65. James Potter/Lily Evans, Harry Potter
Honestly, pretty boring. Sirius/Remus was always the best Marauders ship.
64. Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers, MCU
Make it gay, you cowards.
63. Belle/Rumplestiltskin, Once Upon A Time
God, that is a hard name to spell. I gave up on Once Upon A Time after the first season because it was pretty boring. Does it get better?
62. Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper, Sherlock
I thought everyone in the Sherlock fandom shipped John and Sherlock, but I guess not. The more you know.
Seriously though, what is the appeal of this? They’re barely even friends, and Sherlock is just a dick to Molly for most of the show. There’s really no romantic chemistry there.
61. Castiel & Dean Winchester, Supernatural
I don’t go here, but make it gay, cowards.
60. Loki/Tony Stark, MCU
I guess it’s slightly better than Thorki since they aren’t related, but what’s the appeal? Where’s the chemistry? Why can’t you guys stan Rhodeytony instead?
59. Aziraphale/Crowley, Good Omens
This just reminded me of how mad I was about the end of this show. It’s 2019, Neil! You can make them kiss! It’s okay!
It also sparked me to write one of my upcoming pieces, because it is in no way ever more important to have a story featuring an ambiguously gay ending that’s only accessible for my fellow LGBT people who’ve spent years training ourselves to pick up on subtext, or having the male characters stay as platonic friends, than it is for a story to feature confirmed, positive LGBT rep. Just MAKE IT GAY, YOU COWARDS!
58. Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Torchwood
I’ve been meaning to watch Torchwood for ages because I heard that these two actually become canon, which is great, but it would also give me war flashbacks to the time my German teacher played us a fanvid of this ship set to a song she was playing us instead of just, ya know, the music video. As the only gay kid in the class it was a little awkward.
57. Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Haikyuu
56. Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, One Direction
And here we come to the One Direction ships. I was never into One Direction because I was a tomboy growing up who was also a lesbian but didn’t realise it, so I only really listened to female artists instead, so I can’t comment on the ships specifically. However, I will repeat my stance that shipping real people is wrong. They have boundaries & love lives too!
55. Frank Iero/Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance
If you’re going to write fanfic about real people/bands, at least write them about bands that aren’t emo. It’s 2019, can we all agree that everyone’s moved on from their emo phases? Can someone get onto Gorillaz fanfics instead, or do I have to do everything myself?
54. Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Doctor Who
Still the best Doctor Who ship — I literally cried over the finale of season 2 when they got separated into parallel universes, and I’d still read fanfic of this ship in 2019. They were my first real OTP and the first time I knew true pain.
53. Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, My Hero Academia
A solid ship. Not my favourite My Hero Academia ship, but they still have a solid dynamic and romantic chemistry that’s better than any forced het bullshit the show is trying to push forward. I literally saw someone on Twitter today shipping Todoroki with Uraraka, even though they’ve interacted once, or Todoroki and Momo who are just peak gay/lesbian solidarity. Momojirou for life.
52. Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, My Hero Academia
One of my favourite ships on this list and my favourite ship in MHA. As someone who wants good things for Bakugou, it’s pretty perfect, since his and Kirishima’s relationship is basically the only positive relationship he has with anyone. in the show. That means Kirishima is the only person I could see Bakugou getting together with, so it has to be my favourite. I’m pretty much only watching the show for Bakugou scenes and their interactions — I have no idea what’s happening with the plot at the moment.
The problem, though, is their tag on AO3 is basically just oneshots and them being a side pairing in fics for other ships (mostly in Tododeku fics). It’s kind of annoying, since I’d love at least a few more multi-chapter fics that only focused on them. I really do have to do everything myself, huh?
51. Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, The Hobbit
I have no idea what this means, since I have taste and I’m not a nerd. My dad keeps trying to make me watch the Lord of the Rings movies with him, especially when they always show them on TV around Christmas, but I never do. That’s three hours of my life I’m never getting back.
50. Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Supergirl
Finally some WLW content! I haven’t seen Supergirl (even though I probably should) but these two already sound great. From their names I’m getting hero/villain vibes, which I only like in WLW ships (Catradora, Eve x Villanelle) because they always do it better. Also, I’m gay and I like looking at hot female villains.
49. Mycroft Holmes/Lestrade, Sherlock
More Sherlock. Yay. I thought we as a society had moved on from Sherlock after Hbomberguy uploaded his excellent video essay Sherlock Is Garbage And Here’s Why and tore the entire show to shreds. At least, I did.
This ship I could never really get behind, even when I was into Sherlock back in the Dark Ages when I was 12 and didn’t know what good TV was. It just seems like a side ship, one that would be a lot more common in an ensemble show, when you want to pair up every single character in the background of your fic.
48. Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Harry Potter
This was always my favourite Harry Potter ship, back when all my ships were canon, endgame straight ships. Wow, what a long time ago that was. Now I don’t get this ship anymore — they’re just your average het couple. I think I only ever liked them because they were canon.
47. Captain Hook/Emma Swan, Once Upon A Time
When I gave up on Once Upon A Time after one season Captain Hook hadn’t been introduced yet, so I really can’t comment.
46. Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku, My Hero Academia
I’ve never liked this ship and I don’t know why it’s so popular. It’s borderline abuse! Even though I am (unfortunately) a Bakugou stan and he has had some great character development, that doesn’t change the fact that he did use to bully Midoriya for pretty much his whole life. They still don’t like each other in the show and I really can’t see the romantic chemistry. If you actually like Midoriya and Bakugou and want them to have positive relationships, start shipping Tododeku and Kiribaku instead. Bakudeku is harmful and toxic for both of them, and shipping it forces me to believe you dislike both characters.
45. Enjolras/Grantaire, Les Miserables
I never really got into Les Mis outside of seeing the movie (the one with Hugh Jackman) once, so I have no idea who these people are? Is one of them Eddie Redmayne? I have no idea.
44. Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Shameless
I’ve only vaguely heard of Shameless so, again, I don’t know who these people are. This Ian guy could be the secret third Gallagher brother and third member of Oasis for all I know.
43. Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, MCU
My opinions on MCU Clint can be summed up in that scene in Civil War where Clint tries to introduce himself and T’Challa replies “I don’t care”, which is similar to my opinion on Coulson, so I never cared for this ship. But are there really people still shipping this today? Are y’all still writing Avengers living together in Stark Tower AUs as well?
42. Jung Hoseok/Min Yoongi, BTS
How many BTS ships are there? I’ve already lost count. How do you guys even manage to pick a favourite? It sounds exhausting.
41. Harry Potter/Serverus Snape, Harry Potter.
Why is a relationship between a child and his teacher who hated him in canon 41st out of 100 on this list? Why are there over 10000 fanfics about it? Are all of them jokes? Why does anyone ship this? Why does it rank higher than Finnpoe, Sasunaru and Kiribaku? Am I living in the mirror universe? Did we all die in 2012 and is this hell? What did I do to deserve this? What did any of us do?
40. Peter Parker & Tony Stark, MCU
The one time I don’t want you to make it gay. Starkers are gross. Shipping a 50 year old man with a 16 year old child is literal pedophilia. It is not okay.
39. Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, MCU
It just seems like your average side het pairing, but it always made more sense in canon than Brutasha. Thorbruce has always been the better ship. Also, why do so many of these ships involve Clint? Do y’all actually like MCU Clint? I think you could replace him with a piece of cardboard with a bow and arrow and the movies wouldn’t feel any different.
38. Clarke Griffin/Lexa, The 100
Finally some more women! I’m 90% sure one of them died, though, which is why I don’t want to watch The 100. How many times do I have to say it — bury your gays is NOT revolutionary representation! It’s actually pretty damn harmful to LGBT people!
37. James Kirk/Spock, Star Trek
Spirk is such a good ship, not just because it pisses off dudebros who think the original Star Trek was never diverse, but also because it’s a great example of opposites attract, friends to lovers (in the original series) and enemies to lovers (in the movies), so I’m not surprised that it’s stood the test of time since the 60s. Judging by the amount of subtext in the originals they were supposed to be canon if homophobia wasn’t a thing, so someday I’m going to find a shit ton of money, remake the original series and finally give Jim and Spock what they deserve.
36. Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, Hawaii Five-0
People write fanfic about HAWAII FIVE-0? This really is the mirror universe.
35. Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Once Upon A Time
Sadly, 35th is the highest a WLW ship makes it on this list. Even though I didn’t like Once Upon A Time, I have to give it to the fandom for making it this far up, at least.
34. Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Stargate Atlantis
I can’t believe some other sci-fi white gays made it above Spirk. This isn’t fair.
33. Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, The 100
I don’t know anything about this show, but y’all would really ship an M/F ship when a WLW ship with one of the same characters is right there? Reminds me of the people who ship Momo and Todoroki when Momojirou is right there.
32. Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, Arrow
I’m pretty sure I googled Felicity Smoak once because I was reading about my MBTI type (ENTP, if anyone cares) and she apparently shares my type. Other than that I don’t know anything about these superhero TV shows and I’m too lazy to do any proper research. Maybe I would’ve lower down on the list but at this point I’m getting bored.
31. Loki/Thor, MCU
Just because they aren’t blood related siblings, doesn’t mean they weren’t raised as siblings thinking they were blood related and you shouldn’t consider it incest! Adopted children are still a part of the families they’re adopted into!
30. Keith/Shiro, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Oh god, where do I begin with Sheith?
I’ll concede, it’s not technically incest/pedophilia, but if your ship is only not gross on a technicality you really need to sit down and take a long, hard look at yourself (the reaction picture I used for 31 also applies here).
Technically it isn’t incest, but they both consider themselves to be brothers, since Shiro half raised Keith and Keith literally says in one episode, “You’re my brother, I love you.” Technically it isn’t pedophilia but they met each other when Keith was about 12 and Shiro was 20. If they did end up in a relationship in the real world Shiro would most likely be accused of grooming Keith and would be sent to jail, because that’s a crime.
In the real world, no one who isn’t a pedophile/someone gross in general would date some they met when they were 12 & 20 once that person was older (not even that older, only 18/19, which is still pretty wrong morally, even if it isn’t in the law) after they’d half raised the other and when they both considered each other brothers. No sane person is going to let that happen, either. Just because your ship is okay on a technicality doesn’t mean it’s okay morally.
29. Rey/Kylo Ren, Star Wars
Great. We get three terrible ships in a row, all of which are higher up than Spirk, Kiribaku, Tododeku, Sasunaru and Finnpoe. Does no one have taste anymore?
Reylo is literally abusive, because Kylo and Rey have fought and tried to kill each other multiple times. It’s the Bakudeku problem all over again — they hate each other in canon and have got to hold a grudge, even if Kylo does get redeemed in a single movie. Also Kylo sucks and Rey deserves better. Shipping Rey with someone who’s tried to kill her multiple times has got to mean you hate her, and I won’t stand for that.
28. Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Star Wars
This one is slightly better than Reylo, I’ll admit, since at least Kylo and Hux are on the same side. But it’s just so boring! You have Finnpoe and Finnrey, ships featuring interesting and diverse characters, and you decide to write your fic about the boring, whiny white men? Really?
I despair for the Star Wars fandom. A part of me that’s getting larger and larger by the day hopes the fandom will tear itself apart after TROS so I never have to hear their bullshit and whining ever again.
27. Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Supernatural RPF
The Supernatural fandom clearly doesn’t have enough white guys to ship so they’re invading the boundaries and privacy of the actors playing the characters instead of, ya know, shipping characters. At this point I don’t know if shipping Sam and Dean romantically is worse than shipping the actors. That’s something for me to go away and think about.
26. Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Supernatural
At this point I’m just bored of Supernatural. Can y’all write for a different fandom now, I’ve had enough.
25. Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, BTS
Yet more BTS. You’d think I’d actually have remembered who any of them are by now.
24. Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, X-Men
I’ve never actually seen an X-Men movie but I’ve seen some screencaps and shit floating around, and you know what? These two are valid. Let them play chess in peace.
23. Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin, BTS
22. Levi/Eren Yeager, Attack On Titan
I haven’t seen AoT because of the Nazi thing, but isn’t this a pairing between a 40 year old and a teenager? Because yikes, that’s pedophilia. Reminds me of people shipping Roy Mustang and Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist, even though Roy is in his 30s and Ed is 15. I should make my own list of how many of these popular ships would be in jail if they existed in the real world.
21. Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, MCU
I’ve never really had a problem with this, and while I prefer Rhodeytony I still want good things for Tony regardless. They seem happy together, so I’ll allow it. They’re valid.
20. Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Miraculous Ladybug
I haven’t seen Miraculous but my friend has, and she tried to explain the love… square to me. Now I want to see it even less. That shit sounds complicated, so well done to you guys for understanding and putting up with it.
19. Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Harry Potter
The one Harry Potter ship I’d still read fic for today.
18. Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal
Why are y’all shipping this Will guy with a cannibal? What did he do? They must have a really good dynamic, then.
17. Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Glee
People are still into Glee in 2019? I have to admit, Glee passed me by, so I don’t really know if it’s some amazing quality show I’ve been missing out on my whole life. I’ve never really wanted to catch up, though, because this guy’s name is Blaine. That’s his name.
16. Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Phandom
I guess Dan and Phil both coming out this year must’ve really added fuel to you guys’ weird ass fire, huh? I was never into Phan but the Phandom weirded me out because they always seemed so obsessed with trying to prove that these two guys who repeatedly said they weren’t together were actually together. I guess some things never change.
15. Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock
Just make it gay, goddamnit!
14. Min Yoongi/Park Jimin, BTS
There’s more. Holy shit, there’s more.
13. Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung, BTS
This has to be it, right? Right?
12. Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin
Is Merlin even worth the watch when you know it’s queerbait?
11. Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunters
I never really got into Shadowhunters, but I heard these two got married, so, good for them!
10. Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Yuri On Ice
You know what? I miss Yuri On Ice. When’s the movie coming out when apparently they’re getting married? I’m off to read one of the 22000 fics and cry like I did when they kissed.
9. Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Supernatural
My faith in humanity was definitely misplaced. There are 26000 fics written about two brothers who are related by blood. It’s in the top 10 in a list out of 100. There are so many better ships on this list that deserve to be this high up. I hate humanity.
8. Keith/Lance, Voltron: Legendary Defender
I almost included the “finally some good fucking food” reaction pic here for nostalgia because god damn, I miss them. When I was into Voltron Klance was always my favourite ship, and I still love their rivals to lovers dynamic. They totally deserve to be so high on the list, and the show really did them dirty. I’m now off to reread Dirty Laundry as well. (All my fellow ex-Klance stans, who else remembers Dirty Laundry?)
7. Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, MCU
I never really cared for Stony. Stucky, Rhodeytony (no I won’t shut up about Rhodeytony, it’s a great ship) and Ironstrange were always my preferences when it came to Steve and Tony.
6. Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, One Direction
Not to beat the dead horse that is Shipping Real People Bad, but I’m pretty sure Harry Styles once said that Larry shippers ruined his friendship with Louis Tomlinson. Are y’all proud of yourselves?
5. Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter
Never really got into it since it has the same dynamic as Dramione which I also never liked, but at least it’s gay, and Harry and Draco do interact a lot more and Draco is Simon Snow levels of obsessed with Harry for most of the series. Hey, maybe I could get behind this after all.
4. Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, MCU
This was always my favourite MCU ship, as they have the best dynamic and were the most likely to actually become a couple. I recognise, now I’m less naive, that that was at least a little bit because we were all being queerbaited. Even so, the movies where Steve and Bucky’s relationship was a major focus, like the Captain America trilogy, still hold up as the gayest movies in the franchise. Steve’s ending in Endgame made me so mad because of it’s disregard for Bucky, but Endgame is going to have it’s own post because it makes me so mad.
3. Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf
As far as I can tell these characters are the same age and I’m tired so I don’t really care anymore
2. Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock
The spectre of Superwholock will haunt the internet forever, so it’s no surprise that Johnlock and Destiel are still ranked so highly despite the fact that no one I know has thought about either for years. I actually watched Sherlock and actually shipped Johnlock, although pretty passively compared to a lot of other people, since Doctor Who was my main focus when I was into Superwholock. It was never really my favourite ship but it’s alright I guess?
1. Castiel/Dean Winchester, Supernatural
I was never into Supernatural, as I said beforehand, since it didn’t air live in the UK and when I was into Superwholock I was 12 and didn’t know what pirating was. Judging from the fandom, y’all got massively queerbaited, but, then again, so did the Sherlock fandom with Johnlock. They were never going to make it canon.
They were going to make any of them canon.